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February 10, 2021

Let’s Talk About Failure

Let’s talk about failure. Failure is this word that historically has grown to mean lots of different things. For me, failure was wrapped up in a lot of bad. If I got a bad grade, a B or C, that was failure. If I didn’t get into the right school, that was failure. If I didn’t make enough money, that was failure.

As I’ve matured and gone through life experiences. what I’ve recognized is that failure is a construct. Failure is a limiting term that often times we convince ourselves is a wall. We don’t think we can go beyond that wall of failure. Winston Churchill said “never never never give up.”

I remember when I first met Armando Perez, AKA Pitbull, I’ve had the opportunity to meet him and speak at his school. One thing that he stands for and he speaks about a lot (also from Tony Robbins), is that failure is just an opportunity for us to try something new and try all over again.

There is so much written about fail, fail again, lean in, fail forward. All of these different concepts, I’ve realized that only through failure can someone move forward, grow, and learn before creating anything. I have seen failure in my own life, or losing something, or not gaining / winning something. My parents filed bankruptcy when I was a senior in high school, I watched my grandmother lose things in India, I’ve watched relatives lose businesses, and I myself lost my bar license, lost my money, and got divorced. If we define ourselves by these social constructs of failure, it’s really hard to move on and get over that. Rather, if we decide to look at these life experiences as learning opportunities. As moments that are just another aspect of our lives and our story, we can then pivot and try something new. Try again, make better decisions next time. We can grow and learn and be resilient.

It’s okay to fail. I’ve failed a lot. As a mom, I’ve told me kids that I want them to learn about failing, because failing is where true growth will happen, where your character is built, and you’ll be stronger. I’m so much stronger now with all of the things I’ve gone through over the last 5 years. I have the courage to do the things I never thought I’d do. I have the freedom in my heart and my mind and the way I live my life to be transparent.

Let’s redefine what failure means. Let’s see failure as something we can learn from and grow from. Let’s allow ourselves to fail and be able to talk about it.

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